Wednesday, May 09, 2007
This is just plain cool.... A 2,100 year old computer. The picture above is of course only a replica. The original spent two millenia at the bottom of the ocean.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Hilarious! I think our paranoia is getting the better of us? Not to mention a bizarre degree of cultural isolation.
Wireless spy coin was just a Canadian poppy coin
Saturday, May 05, 2007
AND, I found this through BoingBoing and now I'm totally hooked on Bibliodyssey, such amazing stuff goes up there, even though pk insists he's very busy. Some people can do it all... I thought of Phoebe when I saw these skull people.
I found this following a mention of Borges' Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius. Xul Solar was an Argentinian "everythingologist" and this link leads to an incredibly beautiful blog (and what looks like a very fantastic blog) post by misteraitch.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Oh man, so I realize that my last substantial post was not only a month ago, but also slightly manic, so let's do something a little more mellow.
The big news lately is that I got into Syracuse, so I'll be a religion scholar in the fall. Moreover I will be a religion scholar in central New York, which just makes me loads of happy.
Phoebe and Dom were here for two weeks, and I loved having them here. It was like being at home in Leuven, which doesn't always feel like home. The weather was just unbelievably fantastic, and has remained so. I know it can't be good for the farmers (cf. NYT report), but it hasn't rained in like a month and the sky is always blue and the sun bakes you but it's still sweater weather in the shade... totally ideal, has done wonders for my disposition. We went to Namur and I fell asleep in the grass on top of the fort-embarkment (BOMBARDMENT!!) thing. We played hot dice and had a picnic, it was totally dreamy. I couldn't believe it worked with the three of us in this room, but it was so much fun, and recharged my batteries, I was totally de-stressed when they left.
Nevermind that I got into the program of my dreams and am moving within mere hours of my family and a great many of my friends for what might actually be slightly longer than ten months; when I first found out it felt like a ton of bricks lowered onto my chest. That's just the way this shit runs with me, I have to put myself under enormous pressure just to compensate for the fact that I really freaking hate the work sometimes. But I love it just as much, so lately I've just been trying to relax and have a good time. For crying out loud I've been buried in this poop for what seems like years now and I can't writing anything intelligent?! It's ridiculous. So now I just write, everyday... I would connect this up with Lacan's logical time if I had the details at my fingerprints (sic), I'm almost positive it's related somehow. Psychoanalysis is fun.
So... I got locked onto private property with a friend (Charles) the other night. We tried to scale walls and jump spikey fences, but anyone who knows me knows I'm going to be one of the first to die if all hell breaks loose... I can't jump a fence to save my own life. So we ended up wandering into an old folks home (which was peripherally locked down like Alcatraz) and surprised one of the nurses, who threatened to call the police, even though I think she could tell we were just silly kids. It was all very weird, but we laughed a lot at the pure absurdity of it.
Yesterday my Dad went to look at a place in Syracuse for me, and signed the lease! I officially have a place to live, and John the Dad says it's by far the nicest place I've ever had. I will be living alone (with my geriatric cat Smokey, who's been in the custody of my Grandma Susie up until now), I have a dishwasher, two porches, a big living room and a bedroom, gas range, hardwood floors.... Oh it is just going to be .... I'm going to live like a human being!!! I'm so excited I'm totally beside myself. I've recognized in the last few years that I'm not the most well-balanced person upstairs, so I need my ground conditions to be as normal and low stress as possible. Alas this calls an end to my globe-trotting, but honestly, I'm sure I'm going to do a lot of travelling in my life, and what seems more important now is just to get some kind of home base established that isn't my Mother's house (beautiful and idyllic as it is). Having Smokey around will also make me happy, despite the fact that he's completely neurotic and defensive. I'm the perfect person to love a cat like that I think, I understand....
Today everything is closed in Leuven, it's some kind of holiday. No class, no library, so I have to self-motivate (argh) and finish my second chapter on schedule today. I've become totally obsessed with Bloglines, which just makes my surfing day so much easier, and you get all kinds of weird stuff if you sign up for the right feeds. Boing Boing is my new favorite, so upbeat, so weird and interesting.... I also get daily doses of celebrity gossip, which is another new passion, though I am so sick of freaking Lindsey Lohan and her idiocy it makes me want to vomit. Plus I can subscribe to all my friends' blogs and get daily updates (though I have noticed that everyone except Dana hasn't been updating their blogs... hint hint... not like I'm one to talk). I love the interwebs... Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy just posted a new entry on cognitive science, which is a really interesting (though excessively nerdy) read. Also, Charles introduced me to this internet radio program called Philosophy Talk, which despite the fact that it's almost all Analytic/History of Philosophy stuff, seems pretty awesome.
Mmmm, linky. Me and that hyperlink button are getting to be good friends... Have I mentioned that I love the interwebs? Well, I also love photos, so for those of you who are too lazy to surf to my flickr page, here are some snaps from the Dom and Phoebe vacay:
Nevermind how long that took to format... Blogspot needs to come up with some better way of dealing with photos, this is ridic. Also, just for added bonus, here's a video I took of some folk dancing (Ukrainian maybe?) that happened in Leuven one of the days Phoebes and Doms were here:
In other news, freaking NETHERY is coming on the 20th of May! I'm so excited I might pee my pants. Since he's coming nine days before my thesis is due, he's promised to read the whole thing and proof it for me. Having another nerd around is great, nevermind that he's a phenomenology nerd. It's just going to be awesome.
Anyway, that self-motivation thing needs to start happening, so I better stop with the internet stuff.
Toodles!
Cake
The big news lately is that I got into Syracuse, so I'll be a religion scholar in the fall. Moreover I will be a religion scholar in central New York, which just makes me loads of happy.
Phoebe and Dom were here for two weeks, and I loved having them here. It was like being at home in Leuven, which doesn't always feel like home. The weather was just unbelievably fantastic, and has remained so. I know it can't be good for the farmers (cf. NYT report), but it hasn't rained in like a month and the sky is always blue and the sun bakes you but it's still sweater weather in the shade... totally ideal, has done wonders for my disposition. We went to Namur and I fell asleep in the grass on top of the fort-embarkment (BOMBARDMENT!!) thing. We played hot dice and had a picnic, it was totally dreamy. I couldn't believe it worked with the three of us in this room, but it was so much fun, and recharged my batteries, I was totally de-stressed when they left.
Nevermind that I got into the program of my dreams and am moving within mere hours of my family and a great many of my friends for what might actually be slightly longer than ten months; when I first found out it felt like a ton of bricks lowered onto my chest. That's just the way this shit runs with me, I have to put myself under enormous pressure just to compensate for the fact that I really freaking hate the work sometimes. But I love it just as much, so lately I've just been trying to relax and have a good time. For crying out loud I've been buried in this poop for what seems like years now and I can't writing anything intelligent?! It's ridiculous. So now I just write, everyday... I would connect this up with Lacan's logical time if I had the details at my fingerprints (sic), I'm almost positive it's related somehow. Psychoanalysis is fun.
So... I got locked onto private property with a friend (Charles) the other night. We tried to scale walls and jump spikey fences, but anyone who knows me knows I'm going to be one of the first to die if all hell breaks loose... I can't jump a fence to save my own life. So we ended up wandering into an old folks home (which was peripherally locked down like Alcatraz) and surprised one of the nurses, who threatened to call the police, even though I think she could tell we were just silly kids. It was all very weird, but we laughed a lot at the pure absurdity of it.
Yesterday my Dad went to look at a place in Syracuse for me, and signed the lease! I officially have a place to live, and John the Dad says it's by far the nicest place I've ever had. I will be living alone (with my geriatric cat Smokey, who's been in the custody of my Grandma Susie up until now), I have a dishwasher, two porches, a big living room and a bedroom, gas range, hardwood floors.... Oh it is just going to be .... I'm going to live like a human being!!! I'm so excited I'm totally beside myself. I've recognized in the last few years that I'm not the most well-balanced person upstairs, so I need my ground conditions to be as normal and low stress as possible. Alas this calls an end to my globe-trotting, but honestly, I'm sure I'm going to do a lot of travelling in my life, and what seems more important now is just to get some kind of home base established that isn't my Mother's house (beautiful and idyllic as it is). Having Smokey around will also make me happy, despite the fact that he's completely neurotic and defensive. I'm the perfect person to love a cat like that I think, I understand....
Today everything is closed in Leuven, it's some kind of holiday. No class, no library, so I have to self-motivate (argh) and finish my second chapter on schedule today. I've become totally obsessed with Bloglines, which just makes my surfing day so much easier, and you get all kinds of weird stuff if you sign up for the right feeds. Boing Boing is my new favorite, so upbeat, so weird and interesting.... I also get daily doses of celebrity gossip, which is another new passion, though I am so sick of freaking Lindsey Lohan and her idiocy it makes me want to vomit. Plus I can subscribe to all my friends' blogs and get daily updates (though I have noticed that everyone except Dana hasn't been updating their blogs... hint hint... not like I'm one to talk). I love the interwebs... Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy just posted a new entry on cognitive science, which is a really interesting (though excessively nerdy) read. Also, Charles introduced me to this internet radio program called Philosophy Talk, which despite the fact that it's almost all Analytic/History of Philosophy stuff, seems pretty awesome.
Mmmm, linky. Me and that hyperlink button are getting to be good friends... Have I mentioned that I love the interwebs? Well, I also love photos, so for those of you who are too lazy to surf to my flickr page, here are some snaps from the Dom and Phoebe vacay:
Nevermind how long that took to format... Blogspot needs to come up with some better way of dealing with photos, this is ridic. Also, just for added bonus, here's a video I took of some folk dancing (Ukrainian maybe?) that happened in Leuven one of the days Phoebes and Doms were here:
In other news, freaking NETHERY is coming on the 20th of May! I'm so excited I might pee my pants. Since he's coming nine days before my thesis is due, he's promised to read the whole thing and proof it for me. Having another nerd around is great, nevermind that he's a phenomenology nerd. It's just going to be awesome.
Anyway, that self-motivation thing needs to start happening, so I better stop with the internet stuff.
Toodles!
Cake
For those of you who haven't harvested this from NYT or Daily Kos... I'm getting all into the bloglines thing now, so convenient!
Food, money, government, politics, immigration... one big happy mess. Very important (and well written):
Food, money, government, politics, immigration... one big happy mess. Very important (and well written):
You Are What You Grow
Friday, March 16, 2007
Oh my God! (I just finished reading A Confederacy of Dunces, which I HIGHLY recommend, esp. if you're a Boethius fan) I'm in a good mood by some miracle of self-delusion, so I thought I'd write a blog while the sun holds out. The sun has, in point of fact, been in Belgium for the last week, though it's a bit gloomy today, so who knows what blessings are in store.
I alternate these days between a serious mental breakdown (a la last night) and a sort of elated nervous energy that keeps my head bopping to some inner music that I'm sure is just my prefrontal cortex malfunctioning again for the sake of the whole. Undoubtedly it's doing me a favor, but I really wish I could just FOCUS once in a while.
I've also somehow been completely unable to handle group situations on a mental level, so with the exception of a birthday, I've been trying to keep it to a one-on-one basis. Marianne, as always, is keeping me sane with a constant stream of encouragement, and I think if she wasn't here I would just roll into a fetal position and wait for it all to be over. I STILL haven't gotten my Kant grade, which shows up as a problematic withdrawal on my transcript, but other than a vague foreboding I have no real problem with that.
Random thoughts abound, but I'm counting the days until Phoebe and Dom get here. The pressure is on, but if I meet it I can just relax for a bit while they're here. It's going to be so great to see them, I think I might just pee my pants in anticipation.
Speaking of anticipation, I finally switched my flight and I will now be landing back in the motherland at 11:46pm on July the 6th! It seems a long way away, but I can't believe how fast the time is going, so undoubtedly I will be thunderstruck when I finally get on that plane. I miss home, there's no question there, and my summer is going to be crazy, what with all the reunions and moving shit and weddings and kissing all the inanimate objects that will never appreciate my affection. If they find my lifeless body in the gorge, don't suspect that I intended to end it all, the falls will have just rejected my effusive displays.
Spin spin spin... In other news I'm now on Facebook, which I still think is crap compared to Myspace, but there are elusive characters on there I can't find elsewhere (like TINA!! And Ashley Johnson, which is really just crazy!). So if you're on there and reading this and I don't have you as a friend yet, search me up. I still don't understand how the network functions work, so don't look for me that way. Here's a link to my profile, though I'm not sure it works the same way as Myspace in terms of linking in.
Love and stuff!
Cake
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
Alright, let's try a morning post, since I need some sort of exercise to extricate me from the womb-like oblivion of sleep.
Things are well in Belgium. I am somehow entering a new "ethical" phase wherein I floss every night, go to the gym, go to bed at 11, get up at 8 and clean my room whenever it's dirty. I spend about 10 hours a day working, though of course that's never enough, and I'm beginning to think that perhaps, at some point, I can stop spinning my wheels and actually get some traction in what is certainly not mud, but maybe something like dirty ice.
I am learning that, up until this point, I have been operating on a "gut" level. It's only luck that has gotten me this far, and perhaps a bit of talent, but it has become painfully evident that such a haphazard approach (totally lacking in concrete method) is completely inadequate for my present circumstances. That certainly doesn't mean that I am in the midst of concretizing some kind of method, but at least I am compensating for the fact that such a lack requires a great deal of time in order to accomplish the same effect.
This all has something to do with the fact that it takes a great deal of repetition in order for something to emerge as an actual "production." Which of course relates to my thesis, though I am as yet undecided whether what is necessary is the kind of divine intervention that a religious thinker would advocate, or if in some sense I just need a real, human (perhaps trained) interlocutor. The benefits of analysis are certainly something I have advocated in the past, but somehow I haven't gotten off my ass to find a therapist here. I settle for good conversations with friends, a proliferation of writing and self-analysis that may only be miring me deeper in my spinning self-involvement. If you can make any sense of it, I think the Lacanian diagram below expresses something of what I'm talking about. I made it in paint, so please ignore the fact that it looks like a vagina. That particular entendre was imposed on me by the crapiness of the program.
In the world outside, I am delighted that Dom and Phoebe are coming for my Easter break, which necessitates a much needed renovation of my room setup. I have ideas that I think will be pure genius as long as my sense of measurement does not turn out to be wildly imprecise. What this also means is that I have to get a rough draft of my thesis in by then, which is going to be a hard crush, but I'm working steadily and I haven't yet despaired of the possibility.
I've also taken up a crafty hobby, which I learned from my Grandma Susie (whom I will have to call very soon for help). I'm doing a very fine cross-stitch rose on an off-white background. It's hard and meticulous work, but I get to wear my glasses and listen to NPR and feel a little retired. It's also an activity that I can do to stay within these four walls and be content, taking down time that doesn't involve money or several hours. I've drastically reduced my socialization, so being able to be alone and challenged is very important for my mental health.
At any rate, it's time to get ready for class. Monday is my big day, I have two classes spanning 11am to 5pm, which is really not that bad, but I'm pretty burned out by the end. Tonight I re-read the Husserl that Prof. Bernet has assigned us. We're doing Husserl and Heidegger on the body, which promises to be very instructive despite the fact that our class is at 9am on Tuesdays and held in the coldest, most uncomfortable (but prettiest) lecture hall of the Institute.
Ta ta for now,
Ashley
Things are well in Belgium. I am somehow entering a new "ethical" phase wherein I floss every night, go to the gym, go to bed at 11, get up at 8 and clean my room whenever it's dirty. I spend about 10 hours a day working, though of course that's never enough, and I'm beginning to think that perhaps, at some point, I can stop spinning my wheels and actually get some traction in what is certainly not mud, but maybe something like dirty ice.
I am learning that, up until this point, I have been operating on a "gut" level. It's only luck that has gotten me this far, and perhaps a bit of talent, but it has become painfully evident that such a haphazard approach (totally lacking in concrete method) is completely inadequate for my present circumstances. That certainly doesn't mean that I am in the midst of concretizing some kind of method, but at least I am compensating for the fact that such a lack requires a great deal of time in order to accomplish the same effect.
This all has something to do with the fact that it takes a great deal of repetition in order for something to emerge as an actual "production." Which of course relates to my thesis, though I am as yet undecided whether what is necessary is the kind of divine intervention that a religious thinker would advocate, or if in some sense I just need a real, human (perhaps trained) interlocutor. The benefits of analysis are certainly something I have advocated in the past, but somehow I haven't gotten off my ass to find a therapist here. I settle for good conversations with friends, a proliferation of writing and self-analysis that may only be miring me deeper in my spinning self-involvement. If you can make any sense of it, I think the Lacanian diagram below expresses something of what I'm talking about. I made it in paint, so please ignore the fact that it looks like a vagina. That particular entendre was imposed on me by the crapiness of the program.
In the world outside, I am delighted that Dom and Phoebe are coming for my Easter break, which necessitates a much needed renovation of my room setup. I have ideas that I think will be pure genius as long as my sense of measurement does not turn out to be wildly imprecise. What this also means is that I have to get a rough draft of my thesis in by then, which is going to be a hard crush, but I'm working steadily and I haven't yet despaired of the possibility.
I've also taken up a crafty hobby, which I learned from my Grandma Susie (whom I will have to call very soon for help). I'm doing a very fine cross-stitch rose on an off-white background. It's hard and meticulous work, but I get to wear my glasses and listen to NPR and feel a little retired. It's also an activity that I can do to stay within these four walls and be content, taking down time that doesn't involve money or several hours. I've drastically reduced my socialization, so being able to be alone and challenged is very important for my mental health.
At any rate, it's time to get ready for class. Monday is my big day, I have two classes spanning 11am to 5pm, which is really not that bad, but I'm pretty burned out by the end. Tonight I re-read the Husserl that Prof. Bernet has assigned us. We're doing Husserl and Heidegger on the body, which promises to be very instructive despite the fact that our class is at 9am on Tuesdays and held in the coldest, most uncomfortable (but prettiest) lecture hall of the Institute.
Ta ta for now,
Ashley
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Totally different tone than yesterday, never fear...
Praise be to the powers beyond me, I passed dread logic! A beautiful, precious 10 awaited me today when I literally RAN to the office to get my grades. I have never been so happy about a 50% in my life. Don't poopoo, you logic-heads, this is not my tune and I am not a fantastic dancer even when it is. I'm just happy I don't ever have to get back on that floor again. I am brimming over with gratitude and humility.
As far as my other grades go, I did pretty well. The only one I was dissappointed with was my Malebranche grade, which I thought I had done better on, but Breeur has notoriously high expectations and I still did well enough that it doesn't cramp my style, so I am likewise grateful. I haven't gotten my Kant grade yet because Prof. Moors has been indisposed, but I'm not overly worried about it, that's another exam I'll be happy to pass. Anything above a 10 will be a thrill.
Marianne and I celebrated our personal victories over big shots of Jameson, and I am feeling loose and happy for my afternoon Husserl readings. Tomorrow I will probably descend into a pit of despair once again over my thesis, but at least I'll have the whole day to dredge my way along. I love only having class two days, at least it feels like I have a lot of time to schedule for myself, which is perhaps a dangerous illusion but also a serious advantage.
Anyway... WAHOOO!
Praise be to the powers beyond me, I passed dread logic! A beautiful, precious 10 awaited me today when I literally RAN to the office to get my grades. I have never been so happy about a 50% in my life. Don't poopoo, you logic-heads, this is not my tune and I am not a fantastic dancer even when it is. I'm just happy I don't ever have to get back on that floor again. I am brimming over with gratitude and humility.
As far as my other grades go, I did pretty well. The only one I was dissappointed with was my Malebranche grade, which I thought I had done better on, but Breeur has notoriously high expectations and I still did well enough that it doesn't cramp my style, so I am likewise grateful. I haven't gotten my Kant grade yet because Prof. Moors has been indisposed, but I'm not overly worried about it, that's another exam I'll be happy to pass. Anything above a 10 will be a thrill.
Marianne and I celebrated our personal victories over big shots of Jameson, and I am feeling loose and happy for my afternoon Husserl readings. Tomorrow I will probably descend into a pit of despair once again over my thesis, but at least I'll have the whole day to dredge my way along. I love only having class two days, at least it feels like I have a lot of time to schedule for myself, which is perhaps a dangerous illusion but also a serious advantage.
Anyway... WAHOOO!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Well... as my Maman pointed out, I have been neglecting my little space here on the wide open web. Things have been crazy since... well, I'm certainly not counting the days anymore.
Highlights include: a lovely visit from my Father and Julie and the girls (pictures to follow). We generally just ran around, there wasn't much of a plan, but we went to Brussels and Luxembourg, which was beautiful. It was nice having Maddie and Sophie around for a little while, even though they drove me batty sometimes. I haven't been used to the pitter patter of little feet for a long time, and I forgot how much fun kids can be. We played a lot of cards and ate a lot of ice cream, as well as negotiated the inside of the Atomium, which was a trip in itself. Overall it was just nice to see some faces from home, spend a little time with my Dad and show everyone around.
After the fam left, it was a matter of work, work, work. Which I will say is weighing on me. I'm trying to teach myself French in a super hurry, so I can really participate in an informal seminar that Moyaert is giving (and I somehow ended up organizing). We'll see how that goes. I'm also anxiously awaiting my grades for the first semester. I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how well I think I did on (some of) my exams, I'm sure I'm in for some humbling. I worked hard, but that's no guarantee. I had no idea what I was doing with these oral exams, and I can still hear the missed questions in my head: "delectations of grace", "matter in motion", and the worst of all: "repetition is the result of a double reference within the network of signifiers to an extraneous element which has intruded into the mental economy of the subject." Hard, hard reality. I won't even mention my thesis, which has imploded so many times I don't think it will ever stand on its own. I'm sure I've felt this way before, but I haven't built up any callouses that I can count on. The best I can do is clean off my desk and start again. There's a disconnect somewhere, but I don't know where it is or how to pull everything back together, I'm just waiting for the world to turn a little further, and maybe everything will be fine.
Same sad old story.
Musically, I've been seeing a lot of shows. I saw the Decemberists at the Orangerie, which was lovely except for the fact that my new boots (not a small selfish joy in my life) were hurting me and I had to leave after the first encore and sit down. Similarly, I saw Tortoise Saturday night at the Depot, and they were great, but I left after an hour because I've come down with this flu that's been spreading like widlfire all over Leuven. Even my tobacconist is sick.
Anyway, I'm tired, but I'm sure I will talk to most of you soon.
Love,
Cake
Highlights include: a lovely visit from my Father and Julie and the girls (pictures to follow). We generally just ran around, there wasn't much of a plan, but we went to Brussels and Luxembourg, which was beautiful. It was nice having Maddie and Sophie around for a little while, even though they drove me batty sometimes. I haven't been used to the pitter patter of little feet for a long time, and I forgot how much fun kids can be. We played a lot of cards and ate a lot of ice cream, as well as negotiated the inside of the Atomium, which was a trip in itself. Overall it was just nice to see some faces from home, spend a little time with my Dad and show everyone around.
After the fam left, it was a matter of work, work, work. Which I will say is weighing on me. I'm trying to teach myself French in a super hurry, so I can really participate in an informal seminar that Moyaert is giving (and I somehow ended up organizing). We'll see how that goes. I'm also anxiously awaiting my grades for the first semester. I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how well I think I did on (some of) my exams, I'm sure I'm in for some humbling. I worked hard, but that's no guarantee. I had no idea what I was doing with these oral exams, and I can still hear the missed questions in my head: "delectations of grace", "matter in motion", and the worst of all: "repetition is the result of a double reference within the network of signifiers to an extraneous element which has intruded into the mental economy of the subject." Hard, hard reality. I won't even mention my thesis, which has imploded so many times I don't think it will ever stand on its own. I'm sure I've felt this way before, but I haven't built up any callouses that I can count on. The best I can do is clean off my desk and start again. There's a disconnect somewhere, but I don't know where it is or how to pull everything back together, I'm just waiting for the world to turn a little further, and maybe everything will be fine.
Same sad old story.
Musically, I've been seeing a lot of shows. I saw the Decemberists at the Orangerie, which was lovely except for the fact that my new boots (not a small selfish joy in my life) were hurting me and I had to leave after the first encore and sit down. Similarly, I saw Tortoise Saturday night at the Depot, and they were great, but I left after an hour because I've come down with this flu that's been spreading like widlfire all over Leuven. Even my tobacconist is sick.
Anyway, I'm tired, but I'm sure I will talk to most of you soon.
Love,
Cake
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
The horrible nightmare is over... maybe.
I did well (I think) on my Malebranche exam, I missed the part about "delectations of Grace", which was a stupid point to miss, but I did well on natural judgment and he read my essay while nodding his head consistently. I also got his trick question, which I had been generally warned about, so hopefully I did okay.
Dread, horrible, gut-wrenching LOGIC on the other hand, I'll be lucky if I passed. I took it this morning, with the beginning sense that I had worked hard (flash-cards and everything) and that I was basically prepared. The damn test was only two pages long! I know I got the first question right, but the rest might have been uber crap. I totally missed a lot of the rules for proofs, so I don't think any of them were right, except maybe one or two individual lines. Almost everyone took the full 2 and a half hours, and I feel a little sick now thinking that I might have to retake it. People are in the process of assuring me that this is how a lot of people felt after the exam, and they did fine. I just suck really hard at memorizing things, and for the life of me the big picture does not make sense, so please God let me pass. I'd settle for a 10 or a 9, just don't make me retake it. I just keep muttering to myself and shaking my head: HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE nightmare.
So now the task is to shake off the massive blow to confidence that I've just sustained and try to relax a little before my Dad et. al. arrive on Sunday. I need a freakin' break. I am not going to read a damn book or write a goddamn sentence. The thesis can wait, I am pooping TIRED. In that line, my only plan is to do a whole lot of socializing and sleeping.
Horrible, horrible nightmare. But it's over.
I did well (I think) on my Malebranche exam, I missed the part about "delectations of Grace", which was a stupid point to miss, but I did well on natural judgment and he read my essay while nodding his head consistently. I also got his trick question, which I had been generally warned about, so hopefully I did okay.
Dread, horrible, gut-wrenching LOGIC on the other hand, I'll be lucky if I passed. I took it this morning, with the beginning sense that I had worked hard (flash-cards and everything) and that I was basically prepared. The damn test was only two pages long! I know I got the first question right, but the rest might have been uber crap. I totally missed a lot of the rules for proofs, so I don't think any of them were right, except maybe one or two individual lines. Almost everyone took the full 2 and a half hours, and I feel a little sick now thinking that I might have to retake it. People are in the process of assuring me that this is how a lot of people felt after the exam, and they did fine. I just suck really hard at memorizing things, and for the life of me the big picture does not make sense, so please God let me pass. I'd settle for a 10 or a 9, just don't make me retake it. I just keep muttering to myself and shaking my head: HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE nightmare.
So now the task is to shake off the massive blow to confidence that I've just sustained and try to relax a little before my Dad et. al. arrive on Sunday. I need a freakin' break. I am not going to read a damn book or write a goddamn sentence. The thesis can wait, I am pooping TIRED. In that line, my only plan is to do a whole lot of socializing and sleeping.
Horrible, horrible nightmare. But it's over.
Friday, January 26, 2007
On a completely different note, apparently we can modulate our brain activity by watching MRIs of it working! I probably just need a labotomy.
In Clue to Addiction, a Brain Injury Halts Smoking
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Woo boy, so two down and two to go... I took my huge Kant exam yesterday, which I literally worked on for four days straight after my Lacan exam. It was probably the hardest I've worked on anything in a long time, which is hard to believe that I would stress about it more than my Kierkegaard work over the summer, but there it is. I had NO idea what the professor was talking about most of the time, so it was a long and arduous effort to make sense of the notes. Fortunately, there were a few of us in similar circumstances, and so we got together and worked on it, splitting up various sections and making presentation. It was a good experience, and when I got up there to talk to Prof. Moors, I felt pretty good about my answers. We'll see how I did though.
I love being here right now. It's totally the most stressed and pressed I have ever been, and yet the challenge is something I've been really looking for. Which is not to say that my previous academic challenges haven't been substantial or fulfilling, but something about the level of expectation and my new and improved level of committment and preparation is deeply satisfying. The level of comraderie is really nice too, everyone knows how hard this stuff is and we appreciate the diversity of talents that everyone brings to the table.
I have a long way to go though, still. I have my Kierkegaard paper to revise in the next two days (I hope to be done then anyway) and then Malebranche and dread Logic come up next week. I haven't even started thinking about them, but I've been working consistently throughout the semester, so I think I won't be coming to it blind.
The world outside has gotten very cold by Belgian standards, which is really alright because it helps to keep me inside and more or less focused. We had a crazy hale storm on Sunday night, I literally thought my window was going to break in on me, it was incredibly loud. I can never see hale without thinking of the time I went to Treblinka with my Polish camp in July and it haled on us. The most superficial guy in the group (whom we used to call "Gel" on account of all the grease he used to wear in his hair [ten points for the reference if anyone gets it]) said in perfect English: "God is crying."
So tomorrow besides work I think I'm going back to Holland for a little rest. It's lovely to be able to do that, I don't think I'll ever take that for granted.
At any rate, I hope everyone is well and projects are continuing apace.
Love,
Cake
I love being here right now. It's totally the most stressed and pressed I have ever been, and yet the challenge is something I've been really looking for. Which is not to say that my previous academic challenges haven't been substantial or fulfilling, but something about the level of expectation and my new and improved level of committment and preparation is deeply satisfying. The level of comraderie is really nice too, everyone knows how hard this stuff is and we appreciate the diversity of talents that everyone brings to the table.
I have a long way to go though, still. I have my Kierkegaard paper to revise in the next two days (I hope to be done then anyway) and then Malebranche and dread Logic come up next week. I haven't even started thinking about them, but I've been working consistently throughout the semester, so I think I won't be coming to it blind.
The world outside has gotten very cold by Belgian standards, which is really alright because it helps to keep me inside and more or less focused. We had a crazy hale storm on Sunday night, I literally thought my window was going to break in on me, it was incredibly loud. I can never see hale without thinking of the time I went to Treblinka with my Polish camp in July and it haled on us. The most superficial guy in the group (whom we used to call "Gel" on account of all the grease he used to wear in his hair [ten points for the reference if anyone gets it]) said in perfect English: "God is crying."
So tomorrow besides work I think I'm going back to Holland for a little rest. It's lovely to be able to do that, I don't think I'll ever take that for granted.
At any rate, I hope everyone is well and projects are continuing apace.
Love,
Cake
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Two words: Smoked it.
I'm not so sure I did all that well on the written part, but he kept me for a long time at the oral stage (ha ha!) and even insisted that I did know stuff I was willing to give up on. In any case, I feel pretty good about it, and even if I don't do as well as I think I did, I'm pretty happy that I didn't just humiliate myself. Woo hoo! for small victories.
Here's the summary that I wrote, it might be pretty boring for most of you, but if you're curious about what we did in this class, this is a very stripped down version that I think nonetheless captures most of the important elements and movements.
I'm not so sure I did all that well on the written part, but he kept me for a long time at the oral stage (ha ha!) and even insisted that I did know stuff I was willing to give up on. In any case, I feel pretty good about it, and even if I don't do as well as I think I did, I'm pretty happy that I didn't just humiliate myself. Woo hoo! for small victories.
Here's the summary that I wrote, it might be pretty boring for most of you, but if you're curious about what we did in this class, this is a very stripped down version that I think nonetheless captures most of the important elements and movements.
A.D.C. Cake January 18th, 2007
Final exam general question: Advanced Philosophical Anthropology, Fall 2006
The broad historical context into which Lacan fits Freud in his Seminar on ethics (1959-1960) is the sense in which moral philosophy has lost the perspective of Aristotle. Lacan interprets Aristotle's ethical position as maintaining the possibility of a harmony between the human subject and the “sovereign good,” that ultimately the macro cosmos promotes the welfare of the human being. In this anthropology, our natural feelings of pleasure and pain lead us to a refinement of our moral actions. In Lacan's eyes, this Aristotelian anthropology is destroyed by the notion of Freud's that sexuality in particular is not a unity, but a unified complex of human drives and instincts. For Lacan, the idea that “pleasure does not begin with intentionality” destroys the Aristotelian moral perspective. Further, the moral philosophy of Kant also makes a break with the harmonic conception of moral life. It is rather the moral law that stands as the only measure of the moral worth of our actions. Kant denies that we can act according to our sensations of pleasure or pain and have anything but (at best) an accidental moral correctness. With this Kantian break, it is no longer with happiness that we associate moral life (as does Utilitarianism), but with the ideals of altruism, rationality and duty.
In this new ethical framework, Lacan is using Freud to advocate a hermeneutical contextualism that seeks to protect and describe those aspects of our moral life which are in danger of being obscured by the major moral theories. The task for an ethics of psychoanalysis is to uncover and preserve the subtleties of our spontaneous moral experience, so that we may open up a more adequate relation to them. To this end, Lacan highlights Freud's description of the two principles of mental functioning: the pleasure principle and the reality principle. For Freud, the pleasure principle is a principle of inertia which strives for a unity of perception and to this end will lead the subject by the quickest possible route toward a discharge of excitation, which Freud identifies as “unpleasure.” Yet the pleasure principle is not always adequate. It dominates the system of perception, and can often lead the subject to hallucinate an object, which may result in a relation with reality that is actually unpleasurable for the human subject. If the subject's drive for self-preservation prevails, the pleasure principle is replaced by the reality principle, which mentalizes excitation. The reality principle allows the subject to bear a certain quantity of unpleasure for a certain amount of time, and to take distance from the unattainable promise of satisfaction. This gives the subject the condition for having a more adequate relation with reality, taming the exigencies of the pleasure principle.
So at a certain level the pleasure principle and the reality principle interact fluidly, and protect each other from possible excesses. Yet there is another element of our moral life, for Lacan, and he reads this from Freud's notorious theory of the death instinct. Here there is an “instinct” that has something destructive about it and this element gives rise to a kind of repetition that resists mentalization. Here he finds evidence for a psychic force that stands beyond the economy of the two principles and has no dialectic with them. This outside influence on our moral life he reads as “Das Ding,” “The Thing.” Das Ding has an intrinsic value for the subject which is particular for every individual. As a force from beyond, it jams the smooth interaction of the two principles, disrupting and disturbing the mental economy of the subject. In relation to Das Ding an element of my life that happens to participate in its intrinsic value becomes no longer replaceable. I must have it, or I cannot be happy. Once Das Ding makes itself known, the subject's desire becomes unsatisfiable, infinite. If the subject is unlucky enough to have this intrinsic value invested in a specific aim that is at odds with the social world, then this desire isolates the subject from the social order. It is at this point, for Lacan, where we find ethics.
Lacan describes the desire for Das Ding as the desire for a satisfaction or a representation that unifies all the satisfactions and representations in some ultimate One. Thus the story of Das Ding can be told in terms of a kind of nostalgia, the subject feels that at some point wholeness has been lost. The only way to find it again is to find that One object, Das Ding. Lacan tells two stories about the origin of Das Ding. The first story involves an inevitable effect of an ontological process, wherein our mental life is brought about by the translation of impressions into representations, which are all associated in a network through which the mental life ceaselessly moves. Mental life is in a restless dispersion, produces its own beyond, as no single representation is sufficient to unify the entire network. Das Ding is brought about by the desire of the subject to rest in a unitary whole, under One ultimate representation. The other story involves the Freudian idea (taken up by Levi-Strauss) that culture begins with a primal prohibition, the incest taboo. Lacan stresses the arbitrariness of this moral law. There is no reason why we cannot stay with our mothers, but we are prohibited to do so. Our desire for wholeness is a desire to transgress the primal prohibition and stay with our mothers. In this story the mother is Das Ding, the ultimate object that will give the ultimate satisfaction.
This fundamental difficulty, the desire to transgress the law that cannot be transgressed, is the hard core of moral life for Lacan. It is in this schema that we can see that Aristotelian moral philosophy is lost to us, insofar as it emphasizes a harmony. The macro cosmos no longer promotes our welfare, we have unpredictable desires that go against our well-being. It is only if we are lucky that we are not isolated from the social world. Lacan's answer to this is to strive to enjoy the symbolic sublimation of our infinite desire, to enjoy the satisfaction it offers us in effigy, and thus to combine the powers of the pleasure principle (through smaller satisfactions) and the reality principle (through mentalization).
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
My big Lacan exam is tomorrow, and I feel prepared, but that somehow doesn't make the transition between now and then any easier, so I've got a tremendous amount of nervous energy that I need to put somewhere, and I'm going to do something I've been trying not to do, given the blessings I can currently count just off the top of my head. I will also do this in the form of a list, so that you'll all be spared the long-windedness of my less than zen state of preparedness.
Things I don't like (hate) about Leuven:
1. There's no such thing as free water in restaurants (although you frequently get free booze)
2. Beer is cheaper than water.
3. Coffee only comes in two sizes: small and extra small.
4. The coffee sucks.
5. It's raining almost all the time.
6. All the ATMs run out of cash on a weekly basis
7. The only food you can get after midnight is terrible for you.
8. The sidewalks are narrow and uneven.
9. The bicyclists couldn't give a shit about anyone else.
10. There isn't always a clear distinctinction between the way of pedestrians and the way of cars.
11. There is NO good breakfast here. You'd think in the land of waffles they'd have figured out by now that with a little imagination (and a little less chocolate), you can eat them for something besides dessert. What I'm really saying is I miss diner food.
12. The clothes are both better and vastly more expensive.
13. NOTHING is open until 3pm on Sundays.
14. The libraries work on the 9-5 clock, and hardly at all on weekends.
15. I can't deposit money in ATMs
16. Almost all payments are made internal to the banking systems, so the phone company can take their payment whenever the hell they want.
17. I have to go to the ring to get Bagels.
18. Nobody knows what rye bread or TVP is.
19. There's no Korean food, and no affordable sushi.
20. The music in the cafes and bars sucks... A lot. (except for Blue Cat and Libertad)
That's as many as I can think of without straining myself. Not bad, only 20. It's been worse? Yeah, it's been worse.
I think I might post my two page answer to Moyaert's question "What was the course about?" tomorrow after the exam. It will probably be a bit boring, I had to take out all the nice rhetorical flourishes for the sake of eXtreme concision.
I'm gonna break a leg, so much is obvious.
I think I might post my two page answer to Moyaert's question "What was the course about?" tomorrow after the exam. It will probably be a bit boring, I had to take out all the nice rhetorical flourishes for the sake of eXtreme concision.
I'm gonna break a leg, so much is obvious.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year everyone!
2006 was a doozy, that's for certain, but I think 2007 is shaping up nicely. I'm tired as all get out, even though I had a very sedate New Year's Eve, relatively speaking. My Mom brought Trivial Pursuit for me when she came with my Brother for Christmas (more on that later) so Marianne, Shannon, Mark and I went for Ethiopian food (tremendously awesome) and just played Trivial Pursuit until well after the clock struck the beginning of the new year. Marianne won (of course) but I think the rest of us put up a pretty good fight. It was nice, I'm always afraid of this celebration day, especially when I'm away from Ithaca, because you really can't beat NYE in I-town, or at least I've never been able to find anything better. But we managed to beat all the blues and pressure and had a wonderful time!
As previously mentioned, the Momiji and Brohan came over on the 22nd and stayed for a glorious week. We went to Brugge and Antwerp, but otherwise we just rambled around Leuven and ate like royalty. Only the best for my Moms, and I love it when I get to ride that wagon. We played a lot of trivial pursuit too, and they took lots of pictures, which I am waiting to get through email (hint hint) and then I'll post them on Flickr. Here I'll include a couple portraits and the train station in Antwerp, which I promised to share a long time ago. We didn't get to go to Namur, which is a shame, I really wanted my Mom to experience the dessert house, but time is always short with the visits.
It was super nice not to be completely without family for the holidays, I think I would've been a bit upset if I was all alone (but for my wonderful friends). But now that it's all over it's just going to be work work work from now until my Dad and fam come in February. My exams start on the 18th of this month, which gives me a bit of time to catch up on all the stuff I've been sidelining, which is not a terrific amount, but enough to put the pressure on.
This is the view of the spectacular entrance to the train station in Antwerp from the platforms, it's just breathtakingly beautiful, and massive. Below is my beautiful Mother (Pia) in my apartment, who thinks she takes terrible pictures, but as you can see, that's just modesty.
And here of course is the Moose (Adam), with his new set of keys. He stayed with me while my Mom stayed at the Holiday Inn down the street. Of course he popped my airmattress, but was generally cheerful otherwise. It was SO nice to get to spend some time with my family, it has been a while after all.
At any rate, I hope everyone had a lovely break/celebration and I wish everyone absolutely the best the new year has to offer!
Much love,
Cake
2006 was a doozy, that's for certain, but I think 2007 is shaping up nicely. I'm tired as all get out, even though I had a very sedate New Year's Eve, relatively speaking. My Mom brought Trivial Pursuit for me when she came with my Brother for Christmas (more on that later) so Marianne, Shannon, Mark and I went for Ethiopian food (tremendously awesome) and just played Trivial Pursuit until well after the clock struck the beginning of the new year. Marianne won (of course) but I think the rest of us put up a pretty good fight. It was nice, I'm always afraid of this celebration day, especially when I'm away from Ithaca, because you really can't beat NYE in I-town, or at least I've never been able to find anything better. But we managed to beat all the blues and pressure and had a wonderful time!
As previously mentioned, the Momiji and Brohan came over on the 22nd and stayed for a glorious week. We went to Brugge and Antwerp, but otherwise we just rambled around Leuven and ate like royalty. Only the best for my Moms, and I love it when I get to ride that wagon. We played a lot of trivial pursuit too, and they took lots of pictures, which I am waiting to get through email (hint hint) and then I'll post them on Flickr. Here I'll include a couple portraits and the train station in Antwerp, which I promised to share a long time ago. We didn't get to go to Namur, which is a shame, I really wanted my Mom to experience the dessert house, but time is always short with the visits.
It was super nice not to be completely without family for the holidays, I think I would've been a bit upset if I was all alone (but for my wonderful friends). But now that it's all over it's just going to be work work work from now until my Dad and fam come in February. My exams start on the 18th of this month, which gives me a bit of time to catch up on all the stuff I've been sidelining, which is not a terrific amount, but enough to put the pressure on.
This is the view of the spectacular entrance to the train station in Antwerp from the platforms, it's just breathtakingly beautiful, and massive. Below is my beautiful Mother (Pia) in my apartment, who thinks she takes terrible pictures, but as you can see, that's just modesty.
And here of course is the Moose (Adam), with his new set of keys. He stayed with me while my Mom stayed at the Holiday Inn down the street. Of course he popped my airmattress, but was generally cheerful otherwise. It was SO nice to get to spend some time with my family, it has been a while after all.At any rate, I hope everyone had a lovely break/celebration and I wish everyone absolutely the best the new year has to offer!
Much love,
Cake
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