Nearly a month later, I return. I'm not sure what mental block has been keeping me from posting here recently, but there's something about this blank box and the head full of things I could say that has me sitting here tapping my fingers at a full stop.
The break was crazy. Between Christmas and traveling and New Years there's far too much to report. Now that I'm back in Syracuse, trying to work, everything seems too quiet. I leave my apartment once a day, just to get some air and walk around. It's been freaky warm here for the last three days, I have windows and doors open to let the air circulate, and it's nice to be able to stroll, smoke and meditate without getting all geared up. I'm dreading the day I finally get robbed in this town, people tell me all the time I shouldn't walk around by myself, something bad could happen, but honestly the freedom to explore and be alone with everybody is too good to pass up, especially when I have about six gigs of music people gave me to go through. That's something I really miss about Toronto and Leuven, those are great places to get lost in the streets.
Among the highlights of the Christmas holiday was (as always) spending lots of time with my Brother. I don't think I would get through all the consumeristic bullshit of this holiday without our annual last minute shopping missions, and cooking breakfast Christmas morning makes my day (with all due respect to Jesus and his memory). I wish many years that I had a religious service to go to, and we do go to the Unitarian Christmas Eve service at Sage chapel, but those haven't been good in a long time, despite the fact that I see a lot of people I love and miss there. I like the idea of celebrating the prophet's birth, but if I had my druthers, I might light a candle on a cupcake and read the sermon on the mount. A few years ago my Mom, Adam and I went to Venice for Christmas and we ended up going to the midnight mass at the basilica San Marco, which is an absolutely beautiful building. Too beautiful really, all gold and vaulted ceilings, everyone was pushing and shoving trying to get to the front. It was so packed there was no way to get away from all the jockying for position, and about halfway through I had to leave and grieve that this is what the holy day means to us now. I felt it keenly that the prestige of worship had eclipsed the profundity of the message, and I wanted to scream at all those people in the basilica "what hell are you celebrating with all this?" If Jesus had been in the building, I think more than a few people would have been killed in the stampede to rip something from him as a momento. Such is the fate of the prophets, to be consumed like everything else.
On a different, less bitter note, Phoebe and I went to Toronto between Christmas and New Year's Eve, which was so unbelievably awesome I thought my heart would explode. We went hella shopping all over the place and with her fashion sense and my willingness to try on a bazillion things, I came out with so much stuff that I really love it was something of a miracle. I hate clothes shopping, as most of you know, but now I have a taste of what shopping can be like, given the right circumstances and company. The fashion in Toronto is also head and shoulders above anything in Ithaca or Syracuse, so there was so much to choose from. I got to catch up with a lot of good friends, even in that limited time, and the city itself still thrills me in all its gritty little details, I miss it so much. It was especially great to hang out with Mike and Jan, who generously hosted Phoebe and I on their couches, I'm really grateful to count those guys among my old friends, every time I see them they're up to something else beautiful and fascinating.
New Year's Eve was amazing. I was intent this year on dressing up for Lauren's fancy dress party, and wearing something that didn't look like my Mother's prom dress. I have such a tendency to dress solemnly when I get gussied, I thought it was high time I add flirt and flare to the mix. Of course, this involves short dresses with plunging neck lines and crazy heels, but I didn't have any plans to go to any bars that night, so I could be impractical and just chill with people I knew weren't going to make me uncomfortable. When I'm more confident with that kind of attention and can deflect it better, I'll go out into the world, but until then, I'm grateful for all those friends that will tell me when I'm sitting like a boy and steady me on my pins. As it was, even with a relatively large gathering, I had so much fun and got to visit with so many amazing people I think it all bodes very well for the coming year. Ken Hill took these picture of Phoebe and I, look how glamorous she is! Makes me freaking crazy jealous.
The break was crazy. Between Christmas and traveling and New Years there's far too much to report. Now that I'm back in Syracuse, trying to work, everything seems too quiet. I leave my apartment once a day, just to get some air and walk around. It's been freaky warm here for the last three days, I have windows and doors open to let the air circulate, and it's nice to be able to stroll, smoke and meditate without getting all geared up. I'm dreading the day I finally get robbed in this town, people tell me all the time I shouldn't walk around by myself, something bad could happen, but honestly the freedom to explore and be alone with everybody is too good to pass up, especially when I have about six gigs of music people gave me to go through. That's something I really miss about Toronto and Leuven, those are great places to get lost in the streets.
Among the highlights of the Christmas holiday was (as always) spending lots of time with my Brother. I don't think I would get through all the consumeristic bullshit of this holiday without our annual last minute shopping missions, and cooking breakfast Christmas morning makes my day (with all due respect to Jesus and his memory). I wish many years that I had a religious service to go to, and we do go to the Unitarian Christmas Eve service at Sage chapel, but those haven't been good in a long time, despite the fact that I see a lot of people I love and miss there. I like the idea of celebrating the prophet's birth, but if I had my druthers, I might light a candle on a cupcake and read the sermon on the mount. A few years ago my Mom, Adam and I went to Venice for Christmas and we ended up going to the midnight mass at the basilica San Marco, which is an absolutely beautiful building. Too beautiful really, all gold and vaulted ceilings, everyone was pushing and shoving trying to get to the front. It was so packed there was no way to get away from all the jockying for position, and about halfway through I had to leave and grieve that this is what the holy day means to us now. I felt it keenly that the prestige of worship had eclipsed the profundity of the message, and I wanted to scream at all those people in the basilica "what hell are you celebrating with all this?" If Jesus had been in the building, I think more than a few people would have been killed in the stampede to rip something from him as a momento. Such is the fate of the prophets, to be consumed like everything else.
On a different, less bitter note, Phoebe and I went to Toronto between Christmas and New Year's Eve, which was so unbelievably awesome I thought my heart would explode. We went hella shopping all over the place and with her fashion sense and my willingness to try on a bazillion things, I came out with so much stuff that I really love it was something of a miracle. I hate clothes shopping, as most of you know, but now I have a taste of what shopping can be like, given the right circumstances and company. The fashion in Toronto is also head and shoulders above anything in Ithaca or Syracuse, so there was so much to choose from. I got to catch up with a lot of good friends, even in that limited time, and the city itself still thrills me in all its gritty little details, I miss it so much. It was especially great to hang out with Mike and Jan, who generously hosted Phoebe and I on their couches, I'm really grateful to count those guys among my old friends, every time I see them they're up to something else beautiful and fascinating.
New Year's Eve was amazing. I was intent this year on dressing up for Lauren's fancy dress party, and wearing something that didn't look like my Mother's prom dress. I have such a tendency to dress solemnly when I get gussied, I thought it was high time I add flirt and flare to the mix. Of course, this involves short dresses with plunging neck lines and crazy heels, but I didn't have any plans to go to any bars that night, so I could be impractical and just chill with people I knew weren't going to make me uncomfortable. When I'm more confident with that kind of attention and can deflect it better, I'll go out into the world, but until then, I'm grateful for all those friends that will tell me when I'm sitting like a boy and steady me on my pins. As it was, even with a relatively large gathering, I had so much fun and got to visit with so many amazing people I think it all bodes very well for the coming year. Ken Hill took these picture of Phoebe and I, look how glamorous she is! Makes me freaking crazy jealous.
School starts soon, and as usual I am tragically unprepared. I meant to read all these books on Jewish mysticism over the break, but I find the tomes so far above my level on this topic that I end up looking up every other word on wikipedia. I'm excited about my new classes, one on Kierkegaard's Works of Love and another on religion, media and international relations, plus an independent study with Dr. Braiterman on the afore mentioned mysticism. Now that the dust is settled and the first semester is in the can, I'm really starting to appreciate how great the department is, and how much my peers and teachers have to offer me. It's all very exciting really, I hope to live up to the chance I've been given here.
I hope all of you are wonderful, and to all those operating on this calendar, happy new year!!
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