Totally different tone than yesterday, never fear...

Praise be to the powers beyond me, I passed dread logic! A beautiful, precious 10 awaited me today when I literally RAN to the office to get my grades. I have never been so happy about a 50% in my life. Don't poopoo, you logic-heads, this is not my tune and I am not a fantastic dancer even when it is. I'm just happy I don't ever have to get back on that floor again. I am brimming over with gratitude and humility.


As far as my other grades go, I did pretty well. The only one I was dissappointed with was my Malebranche grade, which I thought I had done better on, but Breeur has notoriously high expectations and I still did well enough that it doesn't cramp my style, so I am likewise grateful. I haven't gotten my Kant grade yet because Prof. Moors has been indisposed, but I'm not overly worried about it, that's another exam I'll be happy to pass. Anything above a 10 will be a thrill.

Marianne and I celebrated our personal victories over big shots of Jameson, and I am feeling loose and happy for my afternoon Husserl readings. Tomorrow I will probably descend into a pit of despair once again over my thesis, but at least I'll have the whole day to dredge my way along. I love only having class two days, at least it feels like I have a lot of time to schedule for myself, which is perhaps a dangerous illusion but also a serious advantage.

Anyway... WAHOOO!

Well... as my Maman pointed out, I have been neglecting my little space here on the wide open web. Things have been crazy since... well, I'm certainly not counting the days anymore.

Highlights include: a lovely visit from my Father and Julie and the girls (pictures to follow). We generally just ran around, there wasn't much of a plan, but we went to Brussels and Luxembourg, which was beautiful. It was nice having Maddie and Sophie around for a little while, even though they drove me batty sometimes. I haven't been used to the pitter patter of little feet for a long time, and I forgot how much fun kids can be. We played a lot of cards and ate a lot of ice cream, as well as negotiated the inside of the Atomium, which was a trip in itself. Overall it was just nice to see some faces from home, spend a little time with my Dad and show everyone around.

After the fam left, it was a matter of work, work, work. Which I will say is weighing on me. I'm trying to teach myself French in a super hurry, so I can really participate in an informal seminar that Moyaert is giving (and I somehow ended up organizing). We'll see how that goes. I'm also anxiously awaiting my grades for the first semester. I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how well I think I did on (some of) my exams, I'm sure I'm in for some humbling. I worked hard, but that's no guarantee. I had no idea what I was doing with these oral exams, and I can still hear the missed questions in my head: "delectations of grace", "matter in motion", and the worst of all: "repetition is the result of a double reference within the network of signifiers to an extraneous element which has intruded into the mental economy of the subject." Hard, hard reality. I won't even mention my thesis, which has imploded so many times I don't think it will ever stand on its own. I'm sure I've felt this way before, but I haven't built up any callouses that I can count on. The best I can do is clean off my desk and start again. There's a disconnect somewhere, but I don't know where it is or how to pull everything back together, I'm just waiting for the world to turn a little further, and maybe everything will be fine.

Same sad old story.

Musically, I've been seeing a lot of shows. I saw the Decemberists at the Orangerie, which was lovely except for the fact that my new boots (not a small selfish joy in my life) were hurting me and I had to leave after the first encore and sit down. Similarly, I saw Tortoise Saturday night at the Depot, and they were great, but I left after an hour because I've come down with this flu that's been spreading like widlfire all over Leuven. Even my tobacconist is sick.

Anyway, I'm tired, but I'm sure I will talk to most of you soon.

Love,

Cake